His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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