yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
