Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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