just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize