PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
