Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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