my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize