I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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