thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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