Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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