I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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