idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
