her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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