I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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