you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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