I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
