Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.