i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
i don't wanna talk about it
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.