Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
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I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
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If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.