3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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