i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
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I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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