Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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