SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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