i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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