none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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