I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
