I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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