oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Apple has a Lot to Explain to iPhone X Customers
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
People Asked The Internet Questions About their Private Parts And The Results Are Hilarious
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness