I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize