Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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