why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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