I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
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I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
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It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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