I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
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I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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