dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
