she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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