THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
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i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
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I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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