defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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