strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize