i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
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