U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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