So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
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