Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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