my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
