Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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