One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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