Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize