I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
