i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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