i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?