why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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