Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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