So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize